Warmth
by makuroshi
Summary: Somewhere along the way, Levi had developed a habit of sneaking into Erwin's bed on nights like this. #15 - Seeking Solace


**Warmth**

**Pairing: Erwin/Levi**

A/N: 2 fics done, 98 to go! (actually, 4 more are done and will be up soon)

Disclaimer: This is a fan fiction of Shingeki no Kyojin, a manga which always leaves us with the question "Who's next?"

* * *

The night was freezing cold.

The strong November breeze rattled the window, but most of the soldiers in the barracks were already fast asleep. They had just returned from a particularly taxing expedition two days ago, and most of them were still recovering. Sleep is extremely vital for them to keep their sanity intact. Sleep allows them to escape the horrifying reality, to gain peace and rest they very much needed, albeit temporarily.

It's going to rain soon, Erwin noticed. He looked out the window of his room, deep blue eyes staring intensely at the midnight sky ladened with dark clouds. With rain, comes the lightning. With lightning, comes the thunder.

And with thunder, comes…

As if on cue, a thunder resounded in the distance, the clap loud enough to startle the blonde man a bit. A hint of a smile played on Erwin's lips. Hastily, he marked the page and placed the book on the nightstand, immediately blowing off the light. Pulling up the cover to just above his broad chest, he turned to lie on his side, shifting a little to find a comfortable position. The room was dimly-lit now, and the rain started to pelt heavily, leaving wet trails down the window.

Erwin started counting.

One… Two… Three…

At four, another flash of blinding light appeared, and a thunder crackled, slightly more deafening than before. Erwin heard the approaching footsteps -the sound was one he has already come to memorise- getting faster and clearer. Erwin closed his eyes and smiled, but continued to mentally count anyway.

Five... Six… Seven…

He was about to reach eight when the wooden door creaked open.

Erwin didn't have to open his eyes to know who had come to pay him a visit. No one would ever have the guts to walk right into Commander Erwin Smith's personal chamber at midnight.

No one but Captain Levi.

Erwin continued to feign his slumber, even going as far as faking light snores. Levi took slow quiet steps, careful as to not wake the supposedly sleeping man, before pausing in his tracks a few feet away from the end of the bed. He's probably hesitating, Erwin thought vaguely.

Absurd and ridiculous as it may sound, somewhere along the way, Levi had developed a habit of sneaking into Erwin's bed on nights like this. Erwin found out the second time, when he had stirred from his snooze, only to find a small lump snuggling against his chest, black hair peeking out from beneath the covers. He was surprised, not so much at the sight, but more at the realization of how much of a flawless fit Levi was in his arms.

It was like he belonged there, right there beside him, as he had always been.

Erwin allowed it to happen time and again, not showing any signs of him knowing the truth. He figured that Levi would be embarrassed beyond reason if his little secret was revealed. The petite man had his own pride, and Erwin respected that.

Soon, he noticed a pattern in the days that Levi chose to sneak in. Cold, dark and windy, with the thunder rumbling and dazzling bright lightning striking the horizon, were indications that he won't be sleeping alone tonight.

How cute, for someone as brave and valiant as Levi, for humanity's_ strongest soldier_ to be frightened by something so trivial.

Erwin heard shuffling nearing his bedside, and then felt a sharp numbing coldness piercing through his skin as he sensed the covers being lifted off of him. It didn't last long, though. A warm body crept onto the bed to settle next to him, the wood creaking lightly underneath the abrupt weight. Levi pulled the comfy duvet up, which all of the sudden seemed slightly smaller now that it had to cover them both, and wriggled into Erwin's strong embrace.

The messy bed of black hair felt ticklish under his chin, and the single bed was cramped, but Erwin didn't bring himself to say or do anything. He simple _couldn't_, not when Levi's radiating a soothing kind of warmth under his touch, not when Levi's giving out soft puffs of breath against the crook of his neck, not when Levi's calming heartbeat resonated and slowed down to match his own pulsing ones…

Not when the silence seemed so beautifully fragile and _perfect_.

* * *

"Levi! Is that you?"

The said man cringes at the mention of his name and clicks his tongue in annoyance at being disturbed. He already recognizes the voice, but turns around reluctantly to face the source of the disruption anyway. '_Ah, it's Hanji,_' Levi thinks. _'If it's Hanji, then it's not so bad to be caught walking around like this…'_

"What are you doing, wandering about in the middle of the night?" Hanji asks, her brows arched up in a questioning look. "It's not like you to be up this late."

Levi stares up, not forgetting to loathe the distressing fact that he has to _look up _when talking to almost everyone in the legion. Hanji has her long russet hair down and her glasses off, and Levi thinks that it's not half bad. She looks less of a maniac and more of a _lady, _Levi has to admit.

"I'm feeling cold," He says, unknowingly revealing his rare moment of vulnerability. "Just taking a walk to… warm up, or something." Crap, his voice sounds a little hoarse, and he hopes Hanji does not notice.

Unfortunately for Levi, she does.

Hanji's eyes squint further, trying to assess Levi's expression under her already limited vision. Her gaze is sharp and calculating, and suddenly Levi feels so small, so tiny, much like a trapped animal. Then, her eyes widen, like something had dawned upon her.

She knows, Levi realizes. She freaking _knows_.

Hanji seems contemplative for a second, struggling to find the right words to say. Her view shifts to the window, breaking the intense eye contact they had shared moments ago and Levi sighs inwardly, releasing the breath he does not realize he was holding.

"Don't stay outside for too long, 'kay?" She finally says, but the words feel foreign on her tongue. "It's a frosty night, and I think it'll rain soon."

"I'll be fine," Levi replies firmly. He nods and spins on his heels to walk away, but he can still _feel _her eyes on him. He turns the corner that leads to Erwin's room and catches a glimpse of Hanji's stare.

Those eyes; hollow, grieving and gloomy… Are they showing_ sympathy_?

Screw that, Levi decides. He doesn't need anyone's sympathy. He just needs some comfort, and he'll get that soon.

This time, Levi does not bother to turn the doorknob slowly to conceal his presence, nor does he care about taking quiet steps as to not alert the occupant of the room. No, he no longer pays any heed to those details, because there's just no reason to.

The room is empty. That's to be expected, Levi thinks. The single bed is still in its place, right at the corner by the double-paned window; a perfect spot for sky-watching, as Erwin had said. That bastard liked those sappy romantic things that are so unbecoming of a brave soldier, Levi remembers fondly. The nightstand remains next to the bed, but there are no books with dog-eared pages that are bookmarked in haste. The books are all neatly arranged on the nearby bookshelf, almost certainly left there to never be touched again.

Now that he actually takes the time to inspect all the details, Levi notices that the room is all too simple, too modest and not befitting of the Commander of Scouting Legion. For a leader of humanity's beacon of hope, who was always accused of wasting the people's taxes and always told to just quit his job because he's done nothing but causing pointless deaths, one will envisage his room to be lavish and grandiose, filled to the brim with luxurious furniture, crystal glassware and golden decorations.

Levi sits at the edge of the bed, the mattress sinking under his weight. He scoffs at the thought. No, those are perfect descriptions of the shameless good-for-nothing unicorns' rooms. He knows, because he has seen one, back in those days before Erwin had come to save him, before Erwin had given him the wings of freedom and guided him to the light.

They can talk all they want to, but what do the people know? Do they know that Commander Erwin lived in such a lowly, humble space? Are they aware that the Commander had always used up more than half of his monthly salary to add to the fund for military equipment maintenance after the supporting factions pulled out? Do they realize how amazing it was, that a man who carried the weight of humanity's future on his shoulders could still handle the pressure with a kind smile?

Even when he was on the edge of breaking down, Erwin still fucking _smiled_, damn it, and god, how Levi wants, _needs_, _**craves**_ to see that beautiful smile again.

Gray eyes stare absent-mindedly at the sky, at the dark clouds that will soon bring the dreaded rain.

With rain, comes the lightning. With lightning, comes the thunder.

And with thunder, comes the haunting memories of Erwin's last battle cry.

Erwin's last command before that titan snapped at his other hand and tore it off him.

Erwin's last words softly whispered into Levi's ears in a faint voice as he laid down in Levi's arms, bleeding profusely from where his limbs used to be.

Erwin smiling lovingly and closing his eyes one final time…

A thunder roars in the distance and Levi flinches, rudely snapped out of his train of thoughts.

His heart clenches painfully and his eyes sting, but Levi tries to retain his composure, wiping furiously at his face to remove any traces of tears. The soft pelts of rain against the rooftop are becoming increasingly loud, and the disconcerting thunders and lightning are becoming more frequent like a sorrowful orchestra in Levi's mind. Lifting up the cold duvet, Levi climbs onto the empty bed slowly, _almost too slowly_, as if he's secretly hoping that somehow, Erwin is there underneath the covers, waiting for him and pretending to be asleep. That somehow, this is all merely a nightmare.

In truth, it _is _a nightmare. It is one that he can never wake up from.

Levi shivers lightly when nothing but an icy gush of air greets his skin. He lies on the bed and pulls up the comfy duvet which all of a sudden feels too large now that it covers him alone.

The bed is vast, cold and empty. There is no comfort here for him. None of Erwin's strong arms wrapping around him in a protective embrace, none of Erwin's soothing scent and calm, steady heartbeat lulling him to sleep…

The silence is still beautifully fragile, but it's not perfect, and never will be anymore.

It's freezing cold tonight.

Erwin is gone. And Levi lies down quietly, missing his warmth.

* * *

A/N: I don't know if any of you have caught on the hints of Erwin's death somewhere in the middle of the fic. It's supposed to be fluffy but it turned out depressing towards the end, I'm sorry. I tried playing around with the tenses, not too sure if it's effective in creating the mood... I'd love to hear your comments!


End file.
